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- Energizer Bunny Arrested & Charged with Battery
2. Pessimist’s blood type is always b-negative
3. Practice safe eating — always use condiments.
4. Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.
5. Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death.
6. Marriage is the mourning after the knot before.
7. Hangover is the wrath of grapes.
8. Corduroy pillows are making headlines.
9. Is a book on voyeurism a peeping tome?
10. Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
11. A successful diet is the triumph of mind over platter.
12. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
13. A gossip is someone with a great sense of rumor.
14. Without geometry, life is pointless.
15. A man’s home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.
16. When two egotists meet, it’s an I for an I.
17. A bicycle can’t stand on its own because it is two-tired.
18. What’s the definition of a will? (Come on, it’s a dead giveaway!)
19. A backwards poet writes inverse.
20. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
21. If you don’t pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.
22. With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
23. When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.
24. The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.
25. A grenade in a French kitchen results in Linoleum Blownapart.
26. A lot of money is tainted. T’aint yours, and t’aint mine.
27. A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
28. He had a photographic memory that was never developed.
29. A short fortune-teller escaped from prison is a small medium-at-large.
30. Once you’ve seen one shopping center, you’ve seen a mall.
31. People who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.
32. An actress who saw her first strands of grey hair thought she’d dye.
33. Acupuncture is a jab well done.
34. Frog slogan: Time’s fun when you’re having flies.