Category: lawyers

The Automobile Accident

A lawyer opened the door of his BMW, when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrived at the scene, the lawyer was complaining bitterly about the damage to his precious BMW.

“Officer, look what they’ve done to my Beemer!” he whined.

“You lawyers are so materialistic, you make me sick!” retorted the officer, “You’re so worried about your stupid BMW, that you didn’t even notice that your left arm was ripped off!”

“Oh my God”, replied the lawyer, finally noticing the bloody left shoulder where his arm once was, “Where’s my Rolex!”

Argument by the Defense in a Court of Law

A lawyer defending a man accused of burglary tried a creative defense to get his client off the hook.

“My client merely inserted his arm into the window and removed a few paltry items. His arm is not himself, so I fail to see how you can punish the whole individual for an offense committed solely by his arm.”

“Well put,” the judge replied with a grin. “Using that same logic, I sentence the defendant’s arm to one year’s imprisonment. Your client can accompany the arm or not, as he chooses.”

The defendant smiled. With his lawyer’s help, he detached his artificial limb, laid it on the bench and walked out.