It started out innocently enough. I began to think at parties now and then to loosen up. Inevitably though, one thought led to another, and soon I was more than just a social thinker.<\/p>\n
I began to think alone -“to relax,” I told myself – but I knew it wasn’t true. Thinking became more and more important to me, and finally I was thinking all the time.<\/p>\n
I began to think on the job. I knew that thinking and employment
\ndon’t mix, but I couldn’t stop myself.<\/p>\n
I began to avoid friends at lunchtime so I could read Thoreau and Kafka. I would return to the office dizzied and confused, asking,<\/p>\n
“What is it exactly we are doing here?<\/em>“<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
Things weren’t going so great at home either. One evening I had turned off the TV and asked my wife about the meaning of life. She spent that night at her mother’s.<\/p>\n
I soon had a reputation as a heavy thinker. One day the boss called me in. He said,<\/p>\n
“Skippy, I like you, and it hurts me to say this, but your thinking has become a real problem. If you don’t stop thinking on the job, you’ll have to find another job.”<\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n
This gave me a lot to think about.<\/p>\n
I came home early after my conversation with the boss.<\/p>\n
Honey,”<\/em> I confessed… “I’ve been thinking…”<\/em><\/p>\n
“I know you’ve been thinking,<\/em>” she said, “and I want a divorce!”<\/em><\/p>\n
“But Honey, surely it’s not that serious.”<\/em><\/p>\n
“It is serious,” <\/em>she said, lower lip quiver. You think as much as college professors, and college professors don’t make any money, so if you keep on thinking we won’t have any money!”<\/em><\/p>\n
“That’s a faulty syllogism<\/em>,”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
I said impatiently, and she began to cry. I’d had enough.<\/p>\n
“I’m going to the library,<\/em>” I snarled as I stomped out the door.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
I headed for the library, in the mood for some Nietzsche, with an AM station on the radio. I roared into the parking lot and ran up to the big glass doors…they didn’t open. The library was closed.<\/p>\n
To this day, I believe that a Higher Power was looking out for me that night.<\/p>\n
As I sank to the ground clawing at the unfeeling glass, whimpering for Zarathustra, a poster caught my eye.<\/p>\n
“Friend, is heavy thinking ruining your life?”<\/em> it asked.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
You probably recognize that line. It comes from the standard Thinker’s Anonymous poster.<\/p>\n
Which is why I am what I am today: a recovering thinker. I never miss a TA meeting. At each meeting we watch a non-educational video; last week it was “Porky’s.” Then we share experiences about how we avoided thinking since the last meeting.<\/p>\n
I still have my job, and things are a lot better at home. Life just seemed…easier, somehow, as soon as I stopped thinking.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
It started out innocently enough. I began to think at parties now and then to loosen up. Inevitably though, one thought led to another, and soon I was more than just a social thinker. I began to think alone -“to relax,” I told myself – but I knew it wasn’t true. Thinking became more and … Continue reading “Problems With Thinking”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[177,128],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4577","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-professors","category-thoughts"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/member.parkinsonsrecovery.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4577","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/member.parkinsonsrecovery.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/member.parkinsonsrecovery.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/member.parkinsonsrecovery.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/member.parkinsonsrecovery.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4577"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/member.parkinsonsrecovery.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4577\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":7271,"href":"https:\/\/member.parkinsonsrecovery.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4577\/revisions\/7271"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/member.parkinsonsrecovery.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4577"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/member.parkinsonsrecovery.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4577"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/member.parkinsonsrecovery.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4577"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}