{"id":4407,"date":"2026-05-15T00:00:54","date_gmt":"2026-05-15T07:00:54","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/member.parkinsonsrecovery.com\/jokes\/?p=4407"},"modified":"2026-05-10T12:03:24","modified_gmt":"2026-05-10T19:03:24","slug":"signs-part-1","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/member.parkinsonsrecovery.com\/jokes\/signs-part-1\/","title":{"rendered":"Signs"},"content":{"rendered":"

In the front yard of a funeral home, “Drive carefully, we’ll wait.”<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

In a nonsmoking area, “If we see you smoking, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action.”<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

On a maternity room door, “Push, Push, Push.”<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

On a front door, “Everyone on the premises is a vegetarian except the dog.”<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

At an optometrist’s office, “If you don’t see what you’re looking for, you’ve come to the right place.”<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

On a taxidermist’s window, “We really know our stuff.”<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

On a butcher’s window, “Let me meat your needs.”<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

On a fence, “Salesmen welcome. Dog food is expensive.”<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

At a car dealership, “The best way to get back on your feet — miss a car payment.”<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

In the front yard of a funeral home, “Drive carefully, we’ll wait.” In a nonsmoking area, “If we see you smoking, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action.” On a maternity room door, “Push, Push, Push.” On a front door, “Everyone on the premises is a vegetarian except the dog.” At … Continue reading “Signs”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[251],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4407","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-signs"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/member.parkinsonsrecovery.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4407","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/member.parkinsonsrecovery.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/member.parkinsonsrecovery.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/member.parkinsonsrecovery.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/member.parkinsonsrecovery.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4407"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/member.parkinsonsrecovery.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4407\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":7119,"href":"https:\/\/member.parkinsonsrecovery.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4407\/revisions\/7119"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/member.parkinsonsrecovery.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4407"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/member.parkinsonsrecovery.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4407"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/member.parkinsonsrecovery.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4407"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}