{"id":2234,"date":"2026-08-26T00:00:07","date_gmt":"2026-08-26T07:00:07","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/member.parkinsonsrecovery.com\/jokes\/?p=2234"},"modified":"2026-08-22T10:12:43","modified_gmt":"2026-08-22T17:12:43","slug":"life-of-a-pirate","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/member.parkinsonsrecovery.com\/jokes\/life-of-a-pirate\/","title":{"rendered":"Life of a Pirate"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>A pirate walked into a bar, and the bartender said,<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>&#8220;<em>Hey, I haven&#8217;t seen you in a while. What happened? You look terrible.&#8221;<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>&#8220;What do you mean?&#8221; said the pirate, &#8220;I feel fine.&#8221;<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>&#8220;What about the wooden leg? You didn&#8217;t have that before.&#8221; <\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>&#8220;Well,&#8221; said the pirate, &#8220;We were in a battle, and I got hit with a cannon ball, but I&#8217;m fine now.&#8221; <\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>The bartender replied,<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>&#8220;<em>Well, OK, but what about that hook? What happened to your hand?&#8221; <\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>The pirate explained,<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>&#8220;<em>We were in another battle. I boarded a ship and got into a sword fight. My hand was cut off. I got fitted with a hook but I&#8217;m fine, really..&#8221;<br \/>\n<\/em><\/p>\n<p>&#8220;<em>What about that eye patch?&#8221; <\/em><\/p>\n<p>&#8220;<em>Oh,&#8221; said the pirate, &#8220;One day we were at sea, and a flock of birds flew over. I looked up, and one of them shit in my eye.&#8221; <\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>&#8220;You&#8217;re kidding,&#8221; said the bartender. &#8220;You couldn&#8217;t lose an eye just from bird shit.&#8221; <\/em><\/p>\n<p>&#8220;<em>It was my first day with the hook.&#8221;<br \/>\n<\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>A pirate walked into a bar, and the bartender said, &#8220;Hey, I haven&#8217;t seen you in a while. What happened? You look terrible.&#8221; &#8220;What do you mean?&#8221; said the pirate, &#8220;I feel fine.&#8221; &#8220;What about the wooden leg? You didn&#8217;t have that before.&#8221; &#8220;Well,&#8221; said the pirate, &#8220;We were in a battle, and I got &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/member.parkinsonsrecovery.com\/jokes\/life-of-a-pirate\/\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading<span class=\"screen-reader-text\"> &#8220;Life of a Pirate&#8221;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[206],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2234","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-pirates"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/member.parkinsonsrecovery.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2234","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/member.parkinsonsrecovery.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/member.parkinsonsrecovery.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/member.parkinsonsrecovery.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/member.parkinsonsrecovery.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2234"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/member.parkinsonsrecovery.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2234\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":7231,"href":"https:\/\/member.parkinsonsrecovery.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2234\/revisions\/7231"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/member.parkinsonsrecovery.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2234"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/member.parkinsonsrecovery.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2234"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/member.parkinsonsrecovery.com\/jokes\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2234"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}